Sometimes Life is Messy

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Sometimes life feels really messy and I become overwhelmed, over-stressed. I want to fight for human rights, equality of opportunity, a healthier planet, kindness and generosity. I see problems that need solutions and solutions proposed that are purposely designed to take from those with the least to give to those who already have more than they need. I see hatred, corruption, sexual harassment, self-interest over caring for those in need and a planet in distress. My heart hurts at constant examples of people who value obtaining great wealth over doing what is right.

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I work hard to take care of myself so I have adequate energy for living life on my terms. Over the past two and half years I have periodically realized that politics and the meanness in the world was going to bed with me, interrupting my sleep, and sapping my energy. During those times I would decrease my internet and television political time and would focus on all that is beautiful as an antidote for the messiness of life.

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For some reason this strategy stopped working for me during the first part of October. I could feel myself slipping into a mild depression and frequently said to friends that I wanted to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. The problem was that I knew how not to be part of the problem – by not making derogatory comments about people who express support for incompetent politicians. I know I can maybe be a part of the solution by having the integrity of living a life that is consistent with my values of honesty, truth, compassion, inclusiveness, equality and living simply. But I didn’t know how to be part of the big picture solution. It sounds grandiose but I wanted to be able to do something that would fix Washington, to fix the injustices that were happening, overrule the harmful policies that hurt those without power. I wanted the power to do right but was realizing that I might belong to the group that is without power. Ouch!

My solution: for the past 40-some days I have been knitting hats. Lots of hats with more yarn being shipped for even more hats. I have been knitting almost a hat a day and hope to be able to make them available to low- and no-income people who visit a pantry that gives out personal care items and cleaning products in my community in Michigan. I have knit little hats and big hats, hats with stripes and hats with cables, and hats with fancy stitches. I have knit hot pink hats and blue hats and green hats and grey hats. I just finished a “roy g b” hat with red, orange, yellow, green and blue stripes (I don’t have indigo and violet).

Most important, I knitted every hat thinking about some child, some teenager, some parent, some homeless person who will be a little warmer during the cold Michigan winter. I knitted in a little joy and goodwill into every stitch, hoping that the people who get them will feel it. By knitting hats, I also knitted my soul back together (with a help of a couple of good sermons that were relevant).