Quiet and Disquiet


I’m wanting a quiet day – maybe a day to process all that has happened with the U.S. election. JB has asked a couple of times if I’m okay and I tell him I am. I know I am, although I feel a sense of disquiet. Maybe it is because my country is in turmoil and I like closure. I was looking forward to election day because I thought it would bring closure – but instead I find myself at the beginning of a long unknown.


I have felt a need to write, because writing clarifies and expands my understanding while also bringing a sense of healing when my heart is unsettled. But writing is hard work – and my energy has been low while my chronic pain is annoying. Fatigue and pain create a foggy mist through which I see dimly. Life seems strange right now.


For now I am finding joy in sharing some of the strangely beautiful orchids I found on my first visit of the season to the Naples Botanical Gardens on Tuesday. I am finding peace in enjoying all that is beautiful, all that is good and right. I find comfort in the ticking of the clock, the rising and setting sun, the rhythms of life. I was lifted up by the beautiful sound of 100 well-trained voices of the Naples Philharmonic Youth Chorus on Sunday. Yes, life is a miracle.


Yes, I can fill the disquiet with the quiet of all that is beautiful and honest. I can respond with integrity and humility as I love others as I have been loved. In a world that so often seems loud and brash, I enjoy reaching out and being touched with gentle love.


I will turn away from the disquiet of revenge, hate and anger, instead finding quiet peace within the teachings of my faith.


I have been feeling the urge to do a post on thankfulness seeing that here in the US we are celebrating Thanksgiving – a day of giving thanks. But so much of what I thought of saying sounded so trite and overused.

Then I had lunch today with my friend, Julie, who I think you will meet in my next post. I am thankful for Julie, and for all the other people who have stood by me. All my family and friends and administrators, and colleagues and students and doctors who stayed with me and understood that life was sometimes hard and that I was doing my best. I am thankful that they ask how I am doing, but then move with me to more fun and interesting topics – after all I am much, much more than an illness.

This year I am thankful for my new blogging community that has affirmed me through “likes” and especially your comments and having my life enriched by your blogs.

I am thankful for music that brings us together and cuts through prejudice. I am thankful for music that touches my soul and reminds me of all the things that are important in life – big and small.

My wish for you is that you may find many things in the days to come to be thankful for, wherever you are and whatever your circumstances. And I hope that I will be able to stand by you!