Doctors & Patients: A Collaborative Relationship

When I developed my chronic condition the first thing that happened to my life was that I started spending a lot more time in my doctor’s office. So much time that I thought I should be collecting frequent flyer points towards a free office visit. Or I should be given my own examining room with a recliner, a stereo system, and wet bar – and stocked with my favorite magazines. The nurses kept telling me they were working on it in the basement. What I received was a lot of time to read novels while I waited and time to think about this relationship that was forming. Through these frequent visits we learned how to work together and formed an excellent working partnership. In a series of posts I will be sharing with you what I believe made our relationship work so well and especially what it was about the relationship that contributed to my healing. Originally I had written a section on what patients need from a doctor and then another section on what patients need to take to the relationship. As I was editing them for posting I realized that our relationship worked because we each brought complimentary qualities, knowledge and skills. We were collaborative partners with a shared goal of controlling my symptoms and increasing my functioning. According to Robin DiMatteo,[i] patients are most satisfied with partnerships rather than authoritarian control by the doctor because partnerships allow us […]

Read More →

S/he Loves Me, S/he Loves Me Not: An Unequal Relationship

Since I lost my doctor (isn’t there a really old country song with a similar title?), I have been thinking a lot about the nature of the doctor/patient relationship. I’ve gone to doctors from whom I was basically purchasing a service but that isn’t a relationship. What I have been thinking about is the type of relationship that is built when a doctor helps us through a very difficult health problem by not only being competent but also being kind (see my post on Kindness). Being sick generally results in feelings of helplessness, and when we have an illness that we know doctors may not recognize and take seriously, we feel very vulnerable to not getting our health care needs met at best, and being abused at worst. What I have read (from both the patients’ and doctors’ perspectives) has led me to the conclusion that it isn’t the patients’ fault (although some patients can be very difficult and uncooperative) or the doctors’ fault (although some doctors can be disrespectful and rude). As my doctor told me, forming a good partnership is difficult because fibromyalgia is a gut wrenching problem for patients and a daunting one for doctors. Here are my thoughts on this relationship. One of the characteristics of a good doctor/patient relationship is that the doctor is genuinely caring and expresses concern about our pain and distress. The doctor is there for us when we feel our worst, are most fragile and are helpless in helping […]

Read More →