It was a long time coming and I’m not sure when it happened. I don’t miss me anymore. This is a strange thing to say but I know the frightening feeling that comes from loosing my sense of who I am. I know the sadness that comes from not believing there is enough left of me because of the changes […]
Time heals. We tell that to young people who have had their hearts broken. Sometimes we say it to people who have had tragic losses, when we know how much they are hurting but don’t know what to say to help them hurt less. If we are the one hurting we probably need to hear it, we need to know […]
In a previous blog, Being Sick & the Sick Role, I shared Parsons’ characteristics of the sick role that included: a) others recognize that the illness is involuntary, that getting sick was not the intention of the person who is sick; b) when people are sick they are exempted from their usual work, family, civic, and other obligations; c) they are expected to not want to be sick and to do what they can to restore their health; and d) are expected to seek competent help and to cooperate in the process of trying to get well.[i] These characteristics were identified to describe how life is expected to change for people who develop an acute illness and I believe that having a chronic illness leaves us in a very strange position of both needing to use the sick role, but also needing to strongly reject it. In this post I provide my perspective on the aspects of the sick role that involve not wanting to be sick, needing the help of others and working with the medical community to restore our health. The first, not wanting to be sick, seems self-evident to anyone who doesn’t feel well for whatever reason. I have to admit, in my BS days (Before Sickness), there could have been a few days when I wished I was sick so I didn’t have to go to work, or exaggerated a cold so I could stay home. […]
Originally posted on Recovery Thru My Lens:
can I trust you to guide me run beside me can I trust you to stay on track allow no slack can I trust you to listen up not to duck can I trust you to stand your ground not let me down ©Meryl Spiegel 2012–All rights reserved–No reproduction without permission
I have already posted on Being Sick & the Sick Role that lays the foundation for this series of posts. I also posted on how we don’t choose to be sick, don’t look sick, don’t want to be sick, and how tricky it is to help people understand how we are sick so we can get the help we need without having them treat us like we are sick. You can find that under Who Volunteered Me to be Sick. I have a lot to say about work and chronic illness so I am breaking it down into several posts. When people have an acute illness and take on the sick role, they are exempt from the usual work, family, community, and other obligations while they are sick. When we get pneumonia or the flu, or have surgery, we can take some time off and in fact we are expected to do this to aid in our healing. What does it mean when we have a chronic illness where healing probably won’t happen and remissions may not last long? What does chronic and possibly degenerative mean for our responsibilities to our families, our work both within and outside the home, to our community and church work? We can’t take a few weeks off, or even a few days, to get better because chronic means forever.