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How to Milk a Mare

Before I decided to go to Kyrgyzstan, Sharon told me that she had drunk Kumis, fermented mare’s milk. My immediate response was “Where in the world do you get mare’s milk?” Duh, from a mare. I was intrigued so as soon as I made plans to visit Sharon I told her to see if she could arrange for me to learn […]

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Building Characters

I just finished reading a new post by The Tawny titled Beautifully Designed. Tawny helped me start seeing a solution to a problem I have been wrestling with over the past few days and got my creative juices running. When these two things happen, the only thing left for me to do is write a new post on my blog. First my problem. My daughter got laid off from a job she really loved and this has left her in a lot of pain because no one gets let go without it touching some nerves but it also brought up a lot of pain from a nasty situation that happened a few years ago. As a mother of adult children I know there is nothing I can do to make her pain any less, and this makes me feel really helpless because I want to kiss it and make it all better – like I could when she was little. It happened Monday and all week I have been feeling DARK. To be clear, my daughter losing her job isn’t my problem to solve, but the fact that I feel DARK and all my writing feels DARK is mine. I have tried working on a couple of posts but have walked away from them because they feel DARK. I have reread some of my previous posts and they sound DARK. Why would anyone want to read my posts on the emotional […]

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Who Volunteered Me to be Sick?

In the previous blog, Being Sick & the Sick Role, I shared Parsons’ characteristics of the sick role that included: a) others recognize that the illness is involuntary, that getting sick was not the intention of the person who is sick; b) when people are sick they are exempted from their usual work, family, civic, and other obligations; c) they are expected to not want to be sick and to do what they can to restore their health; and d) are expected to seek competent help and to cooperate in the process of trying to get well. Parson identified these characteristics to help people understand how life is expected to change for people who have acute illness. I believe that having a chronic illness leaves us in a very strange position of both needing to use the sick role, but also needing to very strongly reject it. This blog is about how a chronic illness, especially one that is invisible, can muddy others’ perceptions of whether our illness is involuntary and our intentions. In fact, they can muddy our own perceptions. Susan Wells tells about her experience of trying to get a diagnosis when she was having frightening symptoms and none of the doctors she went to could find anything wrong. She says that she used what little energy she had left after working and taking care of her family to find out what was wrong – which included trying […]

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Our Bed & Breakfast Yurt

We have had a very exciting but rough ride up to the mountain pasture at Son Kul and I am ready to settle into our en-suite room. The driver has directions to our yurt but these are sketchy because the roads don’t have signs. After driving through a stream and going some distance, there isn’t anything there. Nothing but wide […]

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Sharing the Big “F’s”: Frustration & Feelings

 I started keeping a journal when I was diagnosed with FM 8 years ago. I am now using those journals to identify the issues that I faced, some of the lessons I learned, and to share my journey of coping and healing. During that first year I felt very lonely because I didn’t know how to talk about my frustrations and feelings with family, friends, and the people I worked with. Maybe I was afraid to talk about them. Almost everyone I knew was aware that I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia because they had been very worried when I got so sick so quickly. Our local newspaper also ran a feature article on someone with FM right after I returned from Mayo with a diagnosis. Because the people around me cared and were informed, they would ask me how I was doing and usually I would say fine and changed the subject. It just didn’t seem appropriate to say things like: I’m angry because I don’t have the energy to get my work done; I’m scared that I won’t get my life back; or, I’m so frigging tired of being tired (or hurting, or crying). Sometimes I would talk to people about how I felt when it seemed appropriate and I thought I could trust them. Sometimes these people had their own health problems and frustrations. Sometimes my experience became a shared experience that brought us closer together and we […]

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