Loss of My Doctor

The doctor that I have had for the past 10 years seemed to be a gift from God. He understands how difficult fibromyalgia is for the patient, has an excellent problem-solving mind when presented with a new symptom, welcomes new information about treating FM, cares deeply about his patients, and gives the time a patient needs. There were a few rough spots through the 10 years, but our relationship seemed to be very satisfying for both of us. I thought he cared for me, appreciated how I worked with him, and I knew I respected him so I was dreading when he retired in a few years. When he retired I knew it would be hard but I also knew I would be happy for him and together we would find someone else to take care of my healthcare needs. What happened, however, was totally unexpected and is taking a long time to deal with emotionally. I have Medicare insurance and he made the decision to not accept Medicare reimbursement if congress didn’t stop the decrease in payment to health care professionals, so this meant he would no longer be willing to treat me. Congress did put a hold on the cut but I had already felt the wound of betrayal and after a lot of thought and tears made the decision to discharge him from having responsibility for my primary healthcare needs – I fired him. What pained me most was that he hadn’t […]

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Kindness

In this post I want to share with you the reflections of a doctor going to see her doctor. This was written in a creative piece entitled Kindness by Dr. Scholten, who provides healthcare to refugees in Canada, [i]. It is especially potent because she has experienced being both the doctor who is appreciated by patients and then a patient who feels gratitude towards her doctor. So often we wish that our doctor could be in our shoes, could experience the emotional turmoil we experience, that can only be touched through kindness. Sure we need doctors that are competent and capable but there are times when these qualities just aren’t enough. She begins her story by saying that she had helped an Eritrean couple who were new refugees to Canada and facing an unplanned pregnancy. They come to her office for the last time before continuing with an obstetrician and the husband expresses his deep gratitude to her with a small speech. Obviously she had touched them deeply with her caring and help. She writes, however, that she is “embarrassed that I’m thanked for dispensing something that cost me nothing: no education, no honing of skill, no effort. I’d rather be thanked for diagnostic prowess or a deftly performed procedure.” It is clear in her statement that she underestimates the importance of her kindness and she believes technical skills and intellect are much more important. She writes that she forgets their gratitude as […]

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