Every day should be Valentines Day

20160202-DSC_0203Sending you love today, the day after the contrived day designated for people in the US to tell their sweetheart that they love him/her. I think it drives men nuts – trying to figure out how to tell their significant other that they are loved. This is especially true when television ads are telling them to buy expensive jewelry, chocolates, and even a car as an expression of their love. Other sources indicate a meal at an expensive restaurant is the perfect way to say “I love you.” When we went to the Publix grocery last week he looked at the roses that had been marked $5 more than the week before but advertised as being on sale. He walked on because it rubbed his sense of fair play the wrong way.

Of course there are the romantic fellows who love to spend money on their sweetie. I suspect that behind every romantic fellow who is spending big bucks is a woman worrying how to pay next month’s credit card payment. JB, after 51 years of blissful marriage, still spends time fretting about what to get me and I am still telling him that I really don’t need or want anything so he shouldn’t spend the money. He understands this because he is more frugal than I am. But there is still that nagging message that boys should buy their girlfriend candy in a red, heart-shaped box. He did that when we were teens and dating – and with his very meager income it was a hardship that said “I love you.” I ate it up. The sentiment and the candy. I saved the box to hold mementos of our dates, like movie stubs and dance cards with no names listed because I danced every dance with him.

I don’t need the chocolate now because of weight issues (always) and would only be delighted if the chocolate came with a hefty price. My taste in chocolate has been refined with age. If he paid that much for the chocolate I would feel bound to eat it all, right? You can see how complicated all this romance can get.

Being the practical type I think we should just cut out the romantic crap that costs a lot of money and focus on what really matters. What matters is that we greet each other with a warm smile each morning and say that we love each other before we go to sleep each night. What matters is that we don’t do things that require us to tell lies and destroy trust, that we forgive each other when we get stressed and snarky. If every day is treated like Valentine Day, going to the grocery together is a romantic date and eating a grilled cheese sandwich super in front of the TV is as sweet as a candle light meal in a restaurant with white linen table coverings and napkins.

JB and I both need to hear that we love each other, but large sums of money don’t make the pronouncement more believable. What makes us so secure in our knowledge that we love each other is our consistent expressions of caring in everyday living. I’m thinking we need to show our love for each other tonight with a trip to the Dairy Queen for a mini Blizzard. I love the Snickers.

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20 Comments »

  1. I like the practice pioneered by “JB” of picking out just the perfect Hallmark card, showing it to his sweetheart, and then putting it back on the rack and saving his $4.

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  2. We decided when we were dating that Valentine’s Day was a bad idea. Haven’t regretting not celebrating on a specific day, though we both agree that it’s important to make sure to share our love for each other with each other. I do kind of wish that there was a valid reason still to decorate a shoe box for tiny cards 😉
    Snickers in your Blizzard? I hate how hard the caramel gets. I like pretty much anything with peanut butter.

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  3. When you’ve been married 51 years (us nearly 50), the caring and sharing doesn’t need a special day. We took long walks in the city (he held my hand). When I wanted a bag of chips (I rarely eat them, but I had a craving…), he walked and found me some. Our grandchildren pressed close to us for photo – that was our special Valentine’s Day.

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  4. Guilty as charged! And I blame that on the fact that this is a new relationship, 16 months, and habit. The previous relationship disintegrated into a loveless one and we celebrated nothing – her religion, not mine. I totally agree with your words. We tell each other every day of our love for each other. When we go for long walks on the beach, we are in Puerto Vallarta for 2 months, we hold hands. A hug and a kiss to the sound of crashing waves, is for us an emotional moment, apparently practiced by many down here. And yet, there I was, roses in hand, followed by an expensive meal, and another walk on the beach!! But I have to ask myself, just what do I value most. An over the top show once a year, or, at 72, the gifts of every day, the blessings of good health, and a love to share. Thank you for your words. They are valued.

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    • Sounds like you know how to do romance in many different ways. You are right, a new relationship is very different than a one that has been for half a century.

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  5. Well, that’s what happens when I don’t blog for several months. Pat, the “anonymous” above is from Dan Drews. Sorry if I left you guessing. I will have to blame it on being in paradise, and red wine!

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  6. About three years ago, we were in Mexico on Valentine’s Day.
    I woke to find a little red heart sticker on my teacup. There was another on my book, then I would find them throughout the day on every imaginable object: brush, toothpaste tube…
    It was a fun day wondering where these would show up. The message was clear, even to me, our love is shared everywhere not just in expensive presents.
    This has now become a tradition. I get to carefully peel and re-stick these love-shared symbols onto items to surprise her too.

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