Floral Friday For Friends

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Life unfurling with never-ending changes. Broken heart now means heart disease. Hearts are broken by death not break up. My eyes tire and sight is blurry, but my friend sees double because of disease. We have a hard time remembering what it feels like to walk without stiffness, sleep without pain. We take our designer pills to fix our brains, adjust our chemistry, and sooth the joints. I watch as friends struggle to hang on as time erodes their bodies, and nod because I understand.

Life unfurling with never-ending changes. I know who I am because I remember, when memory doesn’t fail me. I used to do things I now do differently, because I’ve changed. I am determined to hang on, as I loosen my grip on what is no more. Who am I becoming as I thoughtfully, unconsciously adapt?  Will I adapt until there is nothing left of who once was?

Life unfurling with never-ending changes. We friends laugh when tired brains make funny comments. We friends are not afraid to whisper questions starting with, do any of you sometimes need… We friends walk a pace for the slowest, wait patiently for the slowest mind. No one frets about the need to pace, to rest, to not go out. No one thinks it morbid to talk about the short time left and how we want to live it. But we fear the death of one of us.

Life unfurling with never-ending changes. The inevitable change is eased by sharing, laughing, swearing. I can’t imagine moving through life without friends to confirm the crazy, comfort the ache, fill in the voids. We affirm what is good and right but have no time for bull-shit. We collectively remember what shouldn’t have been so we can speak out for what the future should be. Age is giving us the right to be as we are reflected in each other. Age becomes our badge of courage and voice of reason.

This message is approved by Friends.

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17 Comments »

      • The rest of my answer did not post..hmmm. My question was how can you be so brave? I admire it.

        I had two very good friends for over 38 years. I let them go as alcohol gradually became more important to them than friendship. I am alone and not so brave anymore, so I blog.

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        • I am so sorry about your experience. I seem to think you are stronger than you believe. You survived the lose of these two friends – the only thing that is hurting you know is your fear. I hope you find a way to let new people in and if you can’t do it on your own seek some help. I am rooting for you because what you can do online you can also do face to face. Blessing.

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        • Didn’t mean to imply that it was easy. I have been at that place of not trusting anyone, and the road to trust was not at all easy. There are people who can help you down the road to healing if you ever decide to try. Only you can make that decision – and I will be wishing you strength and courage whatever you decide.

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        • It’s not that I don’t trust. I live a highly complicated and complex life currently and I long for simplicity….greatly. I am working diligently towards it.

          Hugs Pat!

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  1. I see the future and it is mine. In the last few years I have fallen a couple of times. Pure clumsiness and nothing broke but it hurt and hurt for many months. I’ve noticed the change. I’m more careful. I don’t jump from steps, I check my surroundings, etc. It’s subtle but it’s different. I’ve changed too and I suspect I will change some more before I am done.

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