J & I just returned from a long week-end with our daughter who lives in Texas. During the past months, memory neurons have been firing in my brain of when my children were young – a long time ago memories since all three are now in their 40’s. I’m a little nostalgic, but not too much because it is so nice having grown children.
This daughter, the middle child, is successfully settling into her career at a university -leading assessment and working on accreditation activities. She had a few career starts that ended painfully and her pain also left us crushed and aching. It almost seems that the pain our adult children feel is more difficult to bear than their pain as little children. When adult children hurt we can’t fix it; their pain is frequently caused by injustices we have no control over. We also can’t control their decisions, even though we would love to protect them from themselves.
Just as we felt her pain, we now experience immense joy when we see her so excited and happy as she is defining herself and her work in this new position. This isn’t what called us to Texas, however. Our purpose was to see the house she bought, her first, and to help her paint. J worked really hard putting Popcorn White on all the ceilings while daughter and I did almost all the walls and woodwork. The rooms popped with freshness. J also helped her put up a new lighting fixture, moved others, and changed most of her electrical outlets and switches. This made her so happy.
I marvel at how competent she is as a homeowner. She had everything spackled, primed, and prepped so all we had to do was open the paint – the five gallon container that we emptied plus two gallons. She had already hired people to do the jobs that were really big and take skill she doesn’t have.
She remembers she is an adult, a woman, as well as our child. She didn’t expect us to do her work, but graciously accepted our efforts as a gift. She was so grateful and joyous as she admired her “new” rooms, as she started hanging her prized art works. She also expressed her gratitude by stocking her frig with foods we like, giving us her bed, taking us out to eat, and going out for ice cream twice (even though she isn’t a big fan of ice cream). We went to Sunday brunch at the Pump House where we each ordered something different to share. J reached for the bill but our woman-daughter insisted on paying and didn’t back down.
On Monday we were getting pretty tired and punchy and daughter had a hankering for a good burger and sweet potato fries for lunch. She knew where she was going, whether we went or not, downtown to the Rosebud Grill. The inside has large signs painted on the walls that were covered up at one point and now re-exposed. There is a fountain counter with the fountain equipment. There is lots of charm plus really good food. I can share the charm but we ate all the food.
A New Day: Living Life Almost Gracefully 
I intended to comment on the Mongolian house, Pat, but scrolling down the page my eye caught on this one, and so much of what you say rings true for me too. Happy that your daughter is “finding herself” as a young woman. 🙂
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Thanks, Jo. I appreciate your visit and especially your comment. 🙂
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Oh what a wonderful post. So nice that you got to spend some time with your daughter. Wishing your daughter all the best in her new job position & with the new house! Can’t wait for the house warming party. LOL
{Hugs}
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Thanks, RoSy. She had a small party on the day she closed, last fall. She said she is about ready to have a real housewarming now that she has done so much. I’ll make sure you are on the guest list. 🙂
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yes, a heartwarming post Pat, so good to hear how well your woman-child is getting on, after times when you were feeling her pain … when they are grown we just have to let them go their own way don’t we … painting a house must be a very satisfying way to help out and be together 🙂
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A heartwarming post Pat. I could relate to your thoughts on adult children. Wishing your daughter much happiness in her new home 🙂
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Thanks, Madhu. She will probably read this post and your comment. She will appreciate it.
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What a wonderful working vacation. I too have adult daughters, it is touchy at times ( I offer unsolicited advice …sometimes). but they are a joy.
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Do you want to see the scars on my tongue? 😀
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Nah that’s okay I have seen my own daily for years 😉 My wish never came true the one that was me saying “Someday you will have a daughter and I hope you get treated or spoken to like you do me”…out of four daughters, I have six grandsons and two great grandsons…life is so unfair! 🙂
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Funny. I am soooooo sorry. 🙂
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What a wonderful post this is, Pat.
Your daughter sounds like a very special woman.
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Thanks, yes she is.
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Loved the post because I have an adult daughter as well. Do you remember when people would ask how old your daughter was and you’d say – 2 or 10 or even 18. But at some point after 30 you tend to stop telling how old your daughter is in actual numbers both to protect her and yourself. Being the parent of an adult child could be a whole blog unto itself. 🙂
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Many blogs! Our youngest daughter was teasing us that pretty soon Dad and her oldest brother would be able to go out for senor coffees together. Ouch. 🙂
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