My life has changed, and I’m not sure when this took place – but I know it has. I’ve always been a planner, believing I could have some control over future events. I thought I could see a long ways, maybe not to infinity but as far down the road as I needed. I recognized that the further down the road I looked, the more out of focus it became but that was okay. I was looking and knew as I traveled down the road it would become more focused and I could make adjustments. I felt in control of my life.
But life has changed, now that I’m traversing my “autumn years”. I’m not as confident because I know things happen that I have no control over. They probably always did but years ago I had years ahead to fix things. I’m still planning, but I don’t feel like I can see as far down the road, with these aging eyes of mine. I feel tentative.
I became aware of this after we returned from our Northwest trip. We had decided to trade our travel trailer for a new one. The one we had served us very well for the past decade but we are now a decade older. We don’t want to work as hard setting up and taking down. We want a queen bed we can walk around and stays made when we hit the road. We bought a new one that I think is perfect so we can travel for another ten years. But the doubts creep in: will we both live that long, will we develop health issues that get in our way, will it still be too much work.
I’ve decided that I don’t need infinite time in order to enjoy the time we have left together. We are making decisions based on what we need now and with the hope that our well-thought-out decisions will make it possible for us to live a full life for at least ten more years. If something happens, I’ll do what I have always done – punt.
Ben, who posted the WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge this week, got me thinking about this road we call life and how our view of “infinite” changes as we age. If you want to see the photographs others have posted of “infinite” or to join us, visit Ben at:
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/11/photo-challenge-infinite/
A New Day: Living Life Almost Gracefully 
Very honest thoughts!
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Thanks for visiting.
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yes we are all sharing this experience of ageing, the realisation that our time here remaining may be short, and wondering how to live our best during those years …. infinity awaits us all. yet is ever with us if we could only see it … your photos help Pat!
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Thanks for the comment – and the visit. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. All the best as you continue down that beautiful road in your first photo. It’s quality, not quantity!
janet
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Thanks for the wonderful wish, Janet. Quality it is!
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The second picture looks mysterious! Infinity is when you get lost at a particular point and the picture is just that! Beautiful 🙂
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Thank you so very much. It makes me happy that you enjoyed it.
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I had a health issue this year and found myself in a room having the discussion about two years or five years, or maybe ten issues. It is a real wakeup call that shortens your bucket list and forces you to start to think about the fact that the only thing that exists is the here and the now.
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I think about these things all the time, especially in light of the fact that my husband is 14 years older than I. Great post!
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Yes, I thought the same way myself when I was younger but suddenly life throws you a curveball and it’s too late to correct some things. But we will survive.
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I love your last statement on “punting”. I think that is really all we can do with regards to things beyond our control. Control what you can and let God (or whoever you believe in) take care of the rest
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Nice addition to my post, Nora. And God gives me the strength to live with “what is”.
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A really lovely honest post. I love your photos and the way you express your thoughts about aging. I have these thoughts too about not knowing what life might throw my way next…..not I think because of age, but because of unexpected and difficult things which happened in our life so far, and because I work in the world of cancer treatment. This always leaves me feeling that I shouldn’t wait or postpone the things I want to do. It gives me a slight sense of urgency about getting on with living while I can 🙂
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I can understand how working in cancer treatment could make you more aware of the fickleness of life – especially when you have a patient who is about your age. I don’t think it is a bad awareness to have. Life is too precious to waste.
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This is a great post – absolutely love it. It especially hit home because we spent yesterday afternoon trying to winterize our travel trailer and the water pump isn’t cooperating. LOL So, I have to ask what kind of trailer you bought. Growing old is not for the faint of heart. 🙂
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I’m glad none of us are “faint of heart” – all of those people haven’t made it this far. 🙂 We bought a Vista Cruiser by Golf Stream, the 19erd model. Just enough room for two people to move around comfortably. 🙂
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What Pat says… The faint of heart are faint hearted because they didn’t learn the lessons along the way. We are now mature and experienced at living and appreciating that we have. Great post Pat.
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Thanks, and I really appreciate your comment. Great insight! And thanks for checking out my blog. 🙂
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Maybe you want to check about taoism? Palmer, Martin. The Book of Chuang Tzu could be a fine starting point.
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Thank you, Christian.
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I find this awareness of time and good health being finite urges me on to live the day as well as I possibly can. It still hasn`t stopped me whining though about petty little things. Love this entry and as always. your photography.
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Ah. You sure said it. Think I’m sending this to my husband. It’s so hard to capture – the whole feeling of having limited time or maybe different time since no one is guaranteed a long time. Anyway, loved this.
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Thanks, Jan. And my thoughts don’t feel morbid, just real. Isn’t aging a strange thing.
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I share your thoughts, too.
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I think it helps to know we are in this together. 🙂
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