Gentle Day Roses

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I’m in a gentle frame of mind – not wanting to think too much and not wanting to do too much. It is a beautiful day with clear blue sky, warm sun, low temperature, low humidity. Perfect for getting lots of things done but I need to be still and quiet.

I am loosing weight which isn’t easy for me because exercise is very difficult. It doesn’t take much exertion to create pain in my muscles for a couple of days but I also need to exercise to help my central nervous system respond appropriately to pain signals and keep my muscles conditioned. In those first few years it felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. I’ve learned to live with it, most of the time, and am continually looking for the “sweet spot of perfect exertion.” Is that a song title that would sell?

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One of the characteristics of fibromyalgia is pain amplification – they have done some really interesting studies measuring how much pressure on the thumb nail it takes to create pain in “normal” people and people with FM. Pain is subjective but they made it objective by watching the pain centers of the brain flash on. It helped me to know that my brain really does get very active with just a small amount of stimulus – and when people without this CNS disorder are given thumb pressure to make their brains light up as much, they said ouch! I no longer feel like a wimp after reading this research report.

So, what does that have to do with my gentle day roses? Yesterday I got really discouraged; I’m-going-to-eat-worms-and-die-then-you-will-be-sorry discouraged. I beat myself up pretty badly because I couldn’t do my weight loss program the way it should be done. I didn’t lose 3 jean sizes in a month type of discouraged. I can’t do this discouraged.

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I don’t stay in these moods long because they aren’t fun. I move pretty quickly into problem-solving mode so after I shed a few tears I thought about why it wasn’t working and how I could make it work. I worked out a new plan and today I met with my coach and she thinks I have a goodย plan – at least for this week. That’s all I need is a plan for this week – then I can evaluate and create a new planย for the next week if I need to.

I needed to post these roses as a gift to me. They are for my courage when I know what I am trying to do is going to make me hurt but I do it anyway because it is good for me. They are for my eagerness to see beyond my stuckness to find ways to make my life better and help me meet my goals. They are for my tenacity to stick with a decision even when I get tired and discouraged and question whether I can really do it. They are for my willingness to see the funny side of life that helps me connect with others and draw others into wanting to help me when I need them.

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These are the perfect kind of roses to meet my gentle day needs. They hold the memory of the joy of photographing them at the garden center, I had the fun of processing them to learn how beautifully my 50mm lens does depth of field, and best of all I can share them with you if you are needing a gentle kind of day when some roses would sooth your spirit and reward your inner strength.

Please enjoy and consider them my blessing sent to you.

 

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21 Comments »

  1. You are one special lady. I am sure that you are an inspiration to many. Many people would give in- but look at you- you get out there every day and take wonderful photos and write inspirational thoughts. I don’t know how important weight loss is for fibromyalgia – but I do know first hand how it can help with spinal stenosis resulting in horrible sciatica. I recently lost 25 pound over the last year and while it took a whole year to get the weight off – the pain is reduced – so it was worth the effort to get it off and now putting in the effort to keep it off. I am 62 and it is not easy to keep it off and according to my weight loss doc – I am limited to 1400 cal/day. But if I choose reduced pain then I know what I need to do. I wish you the best on your journey with this effort – keep your eye on the prize!

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    • Thanks for the inspiration and encouragement. Losing weight would make a big difference in my energy level and the amount of pain I experience as a result of walking. My goal right now is 25 lbs. but if I could lose more it would be better. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am pushing 70 and I need to lose the weight if I am going to remain active and healthy. There is still so much I want to do.

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        • Thanks for the encouragement, Nora. I feel confident this morning and it helps to know you are out there waiting for progress reports. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I don’t foresee running out of photos anytime soon.

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  2. Very interesting studies. FM often seems to be one of those things that people get lumped into and then no one believes there’s anything wrong. My mom went through two years of pain in her right leg, which really diminished her quality of life. Eventually, after many doctor’s visits, she discovered a blockage that she’s since had three surgeries to correct. My point is that I – at least tangentially – understand how nice it is to have an affirmation that you’re not crazy.
    What 50mm lens do you have? I just got myself the Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 for my birthday and I love it ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Yes, I understand what happened to your mom. But more important is that we share the same lens. ๐Ÿ™‚ That is the one I bought and am having so much fun with it. It also forces me to take more steps because I can’t do the telephoto thing. That takes some getting used to because I frequently surprise myself when I look through the viewfinder and my subject spills way over the frame and I take a step back, then another, then another… And you are right, it feels so good to know I’m not crazy or a hypochondriac. Not everyone would agree that I’m not crazy but its a different kind of crazy. Thanks for the nice comment, Heather. Happy Birthday.

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      • You’re absolutely right about adjusting to the moving to get things into view! You don’t realize how dependent you are on a zoom to frame a shot until then. I used that lens recently to photograph a bunch of people at a wine event up here, and the aperture really allowed me to get decent shots in low light.

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  3. Sorry you are having a rough time. Hope things get better soon. Roses are beautiful and do fit the word gentle.

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  4. Beautiful images, Pat…and a great present to yourself. You sound like a positive person generally, and you talk of tenacity and humour….very important in a chronic illness, I find. I am often asked why I am cheerful, and one answer is ‘nobody loves a whinger’….people are much more inclined to be there for you if one is positive! To say nothing of the benefits for you, yourself. Apropos the lens…I have been thinking of getting one of these or a 35mm because I am not using a full frame DSLR (D300) – what camera do you use?

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    • I have a Nikon 1500. I really like that the 50mm is light, it takes nice sharp images probably because there isn’t as much camera shake, and I like the fact that it goes to f1.8 which gives a lot of flexibility for creative depth of field.
      You are so right about whining. My physical therapist said he wasn’t really excited about taking me on when my PC called to ask him about working to with me on exercise. The people he had had with FM were whiners and he didn’t want another. I hate telling health care professionals that I have FM.

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      • Thanks for replying – so you also have a half frame sensor, but no matter – you are getting the images you want. I am debating over the two lenses, because a 50mm is effectively 70mm on a half frame sensor, whereas a 35mm will be about 50mm…decisions, decisions! But f1.8 is great for playing about with DOF…I’ll get there in the end. I currently lug around an 18-200mm because I don’t have to faff around changing lenses. BUT the f stop isn’t wide enough, and the thing is heavy..camera and lens weigh over 2 kilos, and on a bad day with the MS it’s as much as I can do to lift it, once!!

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  5. I hope your gentle day roses have helped Pat . I cannot see you as a whinger or whiner that’s for sure.
    You have a lot to cope with and I get the feeling that you enjoy everything to the full when you can … particularly with that camera set up of yours !
    Trying to lose weight when you can’t exercise so much is tough, but if you can set really ‘achievable’ goals which doesn’t mean the 3 -sizes -smaller- jeans -in- a- flash scenario ๐Ÿ˜‰ then maybe you won’t get so discouraged. Be patient .. you’re sure to get there .
    Have a Happy Tuesday ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. roses my favorite… beautiful pics… have you tried a dry sauna… knew someone who was able to get off meds… get the best one out there… i use one for respiratory problems and it does help

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