Floral Friday: Finding Myself

My interest in photographing flowers has led to a fascination with multi-petaled flowers. The first two are straw flowers that are annuals in Michigan. They are interesting because they close up at night.

Straw Flower

Straw Flower

Chrysanthemum

Marigolds

Marigold

Notice how the straw flower is very orderly, with each petal neatly arranged and in it’s place. The others appear disorderly but I can almost identify a pattern in places.

I can’t help but think of my life as I look at these. I really want my life to be orderly and neat and predictable. That is what I say I’m working towards, and most of the time I feel like I have some control. I want my house to be orderly and neat and most of the time it is – now that I don’t have small children living here. Okay it could be orderly if you give me 10-15 minutes. But just underneath the order of life and home is disorder – mild chaos just waiting to happen.

And I think I like it like that. When I look at the flowers without perfect order I smile – from the depths of my soul. I like being a little out of control. There is beauty in symmetry but there is also beauty in dis-symmetry.  There is excitement about dis-symmetry, about the unexpected and the unexplained. Not having everything perfect seems to allow for more to come in. (Some logic is missing in that last sentence but it makes sense to me.)

Over the past few months I have decided that my house doesn’t have to be neat and clean for me to have friends over. I have friends coming tonight and I might not get the dust off the tables, because I would prefer to use my limited energy going to the farmer’s market and making an apple pie. A little clutter and dust doesn’t seem to matter but the pie will bring us closer together with talk and laughter. Our friends like it this way.

I think this rose best portrays who I am. It is open, showing the complexity of the inner. The inner seems to have a cross, as my faith is very central to who I am but I don’t proclaim it loudly. It is rather private. The outer is loose and gentle and freely unfurling. Even though I am in my late 60’s there is still some unfurling to do. I am still in the process. I can also be a bit prickly if people try to hold on too tightly or are careless around me. It helps people remember to play nice.

If you would like to do a post on “finding yourself in a flower – or other object” please leave me a link in a comment. I would like to get to know you better.

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10 Comments »

    • You go for it, woman. You will have more friends. You do have to do some cleaning when it gets really bad. I have to clean the bathroom before company arrives – my grandson spent some time in there. 🙂

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  1. Life is defining me. Learning to accept what “is” has been hard, but oddly, the more I accept the more at peace I am. Go figure!

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    • Yup, that has been my experience, Linda. Maybe that is what getting older is all about – but having a chronic illness exaggerates the process.

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